Our Fostering Journey

“Seek justice; encourage the oppressed; defend the cause of the fatherless…” — Isaiah 1:17

Before my husband and I got married, we had talked about adopting. It was something we were both very passionate about; we wanted to provide a home for children who had none.

About a year and a half into our marriage, Efraim comes home and says he wants to talk to me about something. He was at a meeting for work where the Director of Place of Hope spoke about fostering. He shared with me how licensing works and how much of a need there was for it, and honestly, we didn’t really talk about it much before deciding to move forward. We knew that we wanted to help children and that we were able to help, and we didn’t see any reason not to.

We took our class, completed an insane amount of paperwork and had our house checked out by the health department. In May 2013, we officially became foster parents. Since then, we have had seven placements. Each of them has had a different story, and each case has been handled differently, but what they all had in common was that they needed a loving, stable environment, and that’s why we do this.

Questions

The question we get asked the most is, “How do you take care of these kids for so long then give them back?” My answer…”you just do”. It’s not the greatest answer, but it’s the truth. Does it suck? Yes. Isn’t it difficult? Absolutely. Do you ever hear from them again? Not usually. But this is what we foster parents do; it’s what we signed up for.

One of the questions I got asked was, “What is the hardest part of fostering?” The hardest part, honestly, is dealing with the state, for us at least. I will just give you a few examples. Almost every time we have taken in a child, we have had no one contact us for days to give us information. We’ve had a worker show up to pick up a two year old with no car seat, and there has been a complete lack of communication concerning visitations and court hearings. Our most recent issue was the worker trying to force us to do something we aren’t even supposed to do, then writing a note in our file for not doing it.

I always feel like people will never foster after they hear what I have to say. To be completely honest, it is very difficult and, at the very minimum, extremely inconvenient. There have been multiple times where my husband and I have just wanted to be done. But then I get the emails. I hear the stories of these kids, who because of no fault of their own, have been removed from their homes and need a family to love them and take care of them. How can I say no? Now, I’m not saying that fostering is for everyone, because it’s not. I don’t know everyone’s situation. However, I do think that there are people out there who think they can’t, but they can.

I can tell you, my husband and I, we are not super heroes; we are regular people. If you have ever thought about, or been interested in fostering, talk to us; you can ask us anything! Trust me, if we can do it, you can too. If you don’t have any interest in fostering, there are so many ways you can help without taking a child in. If you know a family who fosters, seriously ask them how you can help. Even something as simple as taking them a meal once a week is HUGE!

If you have anymore questions about fostering, please leave a comment below. If you are interested in fostering, let me know, and I can get you in touch with an agency. Lastly, if you are looking for a way to help but not foster, I can get you in touch with someone as well.